


Let's Get Physical

by bluecurls



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Darcy Lewis, Gen, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, Natasha Needs a Hug, Real life should come with a soundtrack, Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecurls/pseuds/bluecurls
Summary: Get your mind out of the gutter. This is about the working out kind of physical.This story takes place post CA: Winter Soldier, but in an AU where Bucky is back, memories intact, and everyone lives happily ever after in Avengers Tower. SHIELD is up and running for the sake of the story.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "So why did I have to punch that guy?"
> 
> My first thought was Darcy and Bucky, but then Aderendal suggested JARVIS and plot bunny!

Darcy Lewis knew how to think on her feet. Her job demanded it. Sure, some days it looked like she was nothing more than glorified baby-sitter, but when you considered one of her charges regularly ripped holes in the universe while another took strange pleasure in blowing things up (not to mention normally-well-behaved Bruce Banner’s alter ego, though she met The Hulk once and all he did was sigh heavily at her before continuing to smash the bad guy of the week), it made sense that Darcy’s superpower was improvisation.

Of course, being able to bribe Jane with freshly toasted Pop-Tarts or threaten Tony with 70s disco tunes didn’t work on the plethora of villains who insisted on attacking Avengers Tower _despite_ the home team’s undefeated record of kicking said villains’ asses back to wherever they came from. Darcy has just been cleared by medical after surviving her third hostage situation when she was waylaid by the Black Widow in the elevator.

“Um … Happy Hour doesn’t start for another 30 minutes,” Darcy informed her occasional drinking buddy.

Natasha, predictably, ignored her as she pressed the button for the Avengers’ gym. Darcy, who barely passed her high school physical education requirement, groaned as she followed the redhead into what looked like Gold’s Gym on steroids.

“I don’t wanna learn how to fight,” she whined, knowing full well she sounded like a toddler and not giving a damn. Working out sucked. If it didn’t, it would be called working fun.

“I thought you majored in women’s studies.”

Darcy snorted. What hadn’t she majored in? “Yeah, for like a semester.”

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest. “Aren’t you tired of being rescued?”

Honestly, she was tired of being _captured_. The rescue part wasn’t so bad. Today it was Sam who played the role of hero. He was a cutie with an ass that didn’t quit. Still, you didn’t need to be a genius (Tony!) to know that wasn’t the answer Natasha wanted. “Yes?”

“Good. Training starts now.”

So yeah, Darcy was smart, but she wasn’t graceful, struggled to be serious and had a time-honored tradition of bucking authority. Natasha, however, was stubborn and refused to accept that Darcy couldn’t be trained. This launched a frustrating pattern of the assassin pushing the mouthy brunette only to reach her breaking point and call the whole thing off, stomping away in angered frustration with a murderous gleam in her eye, returning a few days later determined to try again.

(The fact that Hydra’s remaining secret cells, a sex trafficking organization and production on _Now You See Me 3_ all came to a fiery end hours after each aborted training session was pure coincidence, according to SHIELD files.)

Eventually, Natasha recruited Steve to the cause, thinking gym eye candy would be a great incentive. Unfortunately, Steve had difficulty using his full strength when sparring with Natasha and Wanda -- _enhanced_ Avengers. He was helpless against Darcy, especially when she fluttered her baby blues at him and sweetly asked for a 10 minute Tumblr break.

“She just had a break!”

Steve glanced at where Darcy was perched on a padded weight bench, giggling at something on her tablet. Natasha rolled her eyes at the besotted expression on the man’s face. If the world knew how big of a sucker Captain America was for sassy brunettes, they’d be screwed.

“That was a water break,” he explained.

Natasha groaned. Darcy watched as the redhead slammed out of the gym, muttering something in Russian she was willing to bet wasn’t anything she’d find on a Hallmark card. Her sigh was heavy, weighed down with guilt. She loved Natasha. If she couldn’t be Pepper, she wanted to be Natasha.

Darcy went to Clint for help. He agreed to teach her how to shoot, which sounded awesome because the only weight you needed to lift was the gun itself, but then Bucky decided to tag along and he just had to critique Clint’s teaching methods. Darcy listened to the two snipers bicker back-and-forth for an hour before she ducked out of the range.

“Might as well engage privacy mode in there, J-Man,” she suggested as she walked to the elevator. Those two needed to get over themselves and just fuck already.

“Already taken care of, Miss Lewis,” the AI replied calmly.

“You’re a peach,” Darcy said with a sigh.

“Are you alright?” JARVIS inquired.

Darcy shook her head. “I’m a screw up, J. Nat’s running out of bad guys to kill to keep from strangling me.”

She could have sworn she heard JARVIS tisk. “You are not a screw up, Miss Lewis. You simply require a different method of training. You cannot be trained like an agent because you are not an agent. You cannot train like a soldier because you are not in the military. You cannot train like a sniper because you are not a sniper.”

JARVIS needed to work on his pep talks. “So what am I?” Darcy asked. “And keep in mind the answer better be good because my self-esteem is approaching rock bottom.”

“You are Darcy Lewis,” JARVIS spoke definitively. “You must train like Darcy Lewis.”

It turns out training like Darcy Lewis was quite simple once she and her new coach discovered the proper motivation. Darcy loved music and wished real life came with a soundtrack, so JARVIS scoured every system he had access to (and a few even Tony didn’t know about) to create training playlists. They spent an afternoon surfing Netflix and YouTube, generating a video vision board of montages to inspire and stimulate. Anyone who didn’t want to be an athlete -- or at least walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes -- after watching _Bend It Like Beckham_ was not human as far as Darcy was concerned. Even better, JARVIS realized Darcy worked better without an audience, taking it upon himself to alert the brunette whenever the gym was vacant. The two worked up a variety of excuses to get Darcy out of whatever she was doing at the time so she could train in peace. Luckily, her charges were usually so involved in science, she was free to come and go as she pleased.

“Your form is looking well, Miss Lewis,” JARVIS remarked in Darcy's comms as she danced around the padded gym floor, her gloved hands raised defensively as she punched a weight bag in a series of hits with controlled force. “Now spin to the left and uppercut. Good.”

Darcy’s arms were shaking with the effort and sweat dripped down her forehead, but she felt strong. Powerful. _Legally Blond_ was right. Endorphins **do** make you happy.

As usual, Darcy’s “Kicking Ass and Taking Names” playlist was blaring, a mistake JARVIS made note to rectify as he alerted the Avengers of the latest attack on the Tower. He was just about to direct Darcy to one of the safety areas when a man in black slipped through the gym door, gun at the ready. “Miss Lewis, at my count, I want you to go into the _Rocky_ montage."

“Which one?”

“The original.”

Darcy got into position and waited for JARVIS’ signal. When it came, she threw her body into the movements, so focused on her form, she didn’t realize that someone had snuck up behind her until her fist collided with his jaw.

“Huh.” Darcy stared at the unconscious man in black at her feet. "So why did I have to punch that guy?"

“I believe he has a connection to Justin Hammer.”

“That dude is _still_ trying to swipe Tony’s tech?”

“Indeed, Miss Lewis.” JARVIS sounded over it, too. “The others have been informed of the attack and are currently rounding up his associates.”

“Oh.” Darcy nudged the guy with her foot. He was out cold. “Do they know I’m in here?”

“I have informed Captain Rogers that you are safe, but have not told him of your whereabouts.”

Darcy looked down at her boxing gloves. On one hand, it was awesome to be a self-rescuing woman, but on the other, it was even more awesome to work out with JARVIS. She didn’t want Natasha to suffer a mental (and, let’s face it, horribly violent) breakdown when she learned something designed by Tony succeeded where she had not. Also, she just _knew_ Nat would want to put her through her paces. Who the hell needed that?

“I’m gonna go chill in a safe spot and pretend I was never here.” She stripped her gloves off and dropped them to the floor.

“I am going to express concern that my surveillance was temporarily disabled in the gym, therefore leaving no clue as to how this person ended up this way,” JARVIS replied.

“It’s a crazy world, J. A crazy world.”

* * *

If Steve wondered why Darcy was humming _Eye of the Tiger_ as she painted her toenails in the common room that night, he chalked it up to one of those modern day mysteries he had no hope of ever understanding.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This might just be the cutest thing I've ever written.


End file.
